you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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