I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
tell me about the eggs
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