ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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