what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
she told me i tasted like america
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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