Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
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