1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
he had hair everywhere except his balls
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
