I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
