It's a beautiful day for a hangover
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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