I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
