I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize