dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
