think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize