i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
