You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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