I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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