I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
