these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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