I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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