sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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