A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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