I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
