So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize