Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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