I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I smell like Dick and happiness
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