what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
we should paint friendship bongs
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