so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
the day after is always just damage control
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
