Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
