I wanna bring you to show and tell
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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