we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
