is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
