Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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