how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Is Oprah even human
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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