Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
