she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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