sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm sobbing to NWA
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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