I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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