we made out on top of his cat.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
