I wannas sexs uuuuu
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Randomize
