he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
