Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
