I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
