sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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