We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
