Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
