Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Everclear isn't food dammit
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize