I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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