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We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
