This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
