i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Mom said you looked used
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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