I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Got a toothbrush?
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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