I wanna bring you to show and tell
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Two words: blizzard sex
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
