Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Randomize
