seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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