u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I touched a dick in church today
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize