i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
