Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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