You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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