she was so not down for the gang bang
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
do nipples grow back?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
