Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
