my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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