I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Can I color on your dick again?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
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