I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
