I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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